Another Laundry Tale: Fitted Sheets Fit to be Tied

Following up on last week's blog about laundry, is this blog about a specific laundry problem. We all know it, we've all hated it, we've all cursed the blessed things: fitted sheets.

This morning I decided to be a good "doobie" and fold the sheets right out of the dryer.

O, the trouble this caused me!

It's those d---ed fitted sheets. Today, I had two sets of sheets in the dryer (actually three sets, but I didn't even remember that!). I  grabbed the first fitted sheet, and discovered it was tightly twisted around another fitted sheet. Suddenly I had a mass of clean, twisty, fitted sheets in my hands. They were like lovers who clung to each other desperately and defied me to separate them or else all the stars in heaven would fall.

Who invented these fitted sheets, anyway? They were to blame for my aggravation this morning.

A quick search on the internet reveals the name: Bertha Berman, an African American woman who patented the idea in 1959. She probably thought she was doing a great service to people who make beds: hospital orderlies, hotel maids, housewives. (Note that I am there with the behind-the-scenes- hard workers of the world.) Her design was for fitted sheets that had corners sewn in a way that would fit the sheet to the mattress. Yay for Bertha for getting that patent!

Before fitted sheets, the bottom sheets on beds were simply flat sheets, usually tucked in with "hospital corners". Even with very clever tucking, the sheets came undone because of the person on top of them tossing and turning. (Is anyone working on how to prevent tossing and turning by a comatose sleeping person?) Bertha's fitted sheets were a big improvement over flat sheets cleverly tucked under, that didn't work. Her sheets still needed elastic garters or other gadgets to keep the sheet on the bed.

Finally in 1990, Gisele Jubinville created a fitted sheet with deep corner pockets that grab a mattress and stay in place. She sold the patent in 1993 for $1 million. [eHow.com, "About Fitted Sheets", by Andrea Hermitt) Yay for Gisele!!!

Back to me at the dryer, attempting to untangle my fitted sheets. I had planned a nice, clean, orderly folding of the sheets from the dryer. Usually, honestly, I grab the bundle of clothes in the dryer and toss them into an empty chair to sort and fold later. But today I was going to do the right thing by me and by my sheets: fold them directly from the dryer. 

Instead of orderly, I had a basketball sized bundle of clinging, clean sheets that wanted to fall out of my hands and onto the floor.

Now, our laundry room also serves as storage for light bulbs, flashlights, masking tape, and -- well -- a cat litter box.

I did NOT want my clean sheets to get anywhere near the floor of the laundry room, I don't care how often it gets swept and mopped. Ewww!

I had the top of the dyer to use for sorting this messy mass of fitted sheets, but even that surface seemed too small. 

Argh!

I pulled and tugged and cursed and yanked and eventually got the two sheets separated. Jeesh!

So much for doing the right thing this morning. Next time, I'll dump it all in a chair and leave it forever until it rots and has to go to the dump because it wasn't cooperating.

Any readers out there have a "fight with a fitted sheet" story you'd be willing to share?